Advice from Uncle CB: Exercise

"CB" (jrcb) 04/01/2015 at 19:17 • Filed to: Not cars, Advice, Exercise, Advice with Uncle CB

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Hello everyone! It's April 1st, which means it's a day filled to the brim with jokes. So now, I shall inform you about something that I take as a joke (and in a bad way): exercise.

I used to be in kind-of shape. I swam in high school and played water polo (third in the city of Toronto for 50 metre backstroke at one point, our medley relay team was second in the province, and our water polo team went to city semifinals). But I only exercised in school because I had to, either for teams or for gym class. I really hated it, especially since gym class basketball resulted in bruises on most of my body due to an incident with the wall, so once I got to university, I figured my metabolism and not being able to afford food would keep me from getting fat. And for the most part, it has.

But even though I'm tall and built like a number two pencil, it doesn't mean that I'm in shape. When I started working out, I could barely run for more than half a mile without wanting to vomit. It took me a few months, but I can finally run a mile at a speed faster than glacial (although anything beyond that distance might cause me to throw up my lungs). I can lift a decent amount of weight, but not a terribly huge amount. And this is the end result of working out for the better part of three months.

And I have a feeling that a fair number of us here aren't in great shape, either. I know Pete is running a thing and trying to get Opponauts in shape with a simple daily routine, which is excellent for people who are able to motivate themselves to do something. I sometimes have difficulty doing that, because I have been diagnosed with BALSOS, or in more layman terms, Being A Lazy Sack Of Shit. The only reason I even go to the gym at this point is because I know my buddy will break into my house and beat the crap out of me if I don't.

So, in order to exercise, I've decided that I need a real and tangible goal, much like how a deadline makes it easier to write a paper than if it was optional. I'd like to be a cop, but that's still too far out mentally to cause a ridiculous amount of motivation in me (I already go to the gym twice a week, but I don't think that's enough). Being the logical person I am, I decided to pick a more tangible goal with a real and concrete date to be ready by. As well, I am a complete moron.

Enter: the Spartan Sprint.

For those of you who watched the video, you may have noticed that there are a few things: for example, everyone getting ridiculously tired, the fire, the climbing, and the guys hitting the people before they can get to the finish line. Now although my experience will probably not be exactly the same as that since the races are different around the world, I am probably going to die. Straight up. Catch on fire or drown in mud or something.

Unless I get in shape.

In three months.

So I can run five or more kilometres and go through fifteen or more obstacles.

And not die.

Balls.

On the plus side, I'm not doing it alone: I've got a few guys who I'll be running it with and who are helping me get in better shape, plus I'll be trying to save up for a GoPro so I can film my suffering and share it with the masses. I figure having the support of other people will motivate me to work even harder if I don't want to die.

So, the moral of this story is: if you want to get into shape, or get anything else done, set some hard goals for yourself. Preferably ones that will kill you if you get lazy. As well, don't do it alone, because any activity is easier if you have someone there to complain about it with.

PS: feel free to join myself and my buddies on July 4th for the Ottawa Spartan Sprint! I promise that my mediocrity will help you feel better about yourself!

bob and john > CB 04/01/2015 at 19:19

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hehehe. I desperately need to get my stamina back...

CB > bob and john 04/01/2015 at 19:20

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Get running! And don't stop running! Even if you fall off the treadmill while looking at a pretty girl and start bleeding everywhere!

I am not good at being a gym bro.

BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. > CB 04/01/2015 at 19:23

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I'm in pretty much the exact same situation you're in, except I'm in my first year of college. I started working out two months ago after not doing any physical exercise for years, and the going is slow.

CB > BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. 04/01/2015 at 19:24

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Hey, it's going! Which means that you're improving!

bob and john > CB 04/01/2015 at 19:25

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LOL. We do have an indoor track. But it already hard enoguh tring to get school work and taking care of the house balanced. I do plan on hopping on the bike again once I get back to toronto

BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. > CB 04/01/2015 at 19:26

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I know, but I just wish it was faster. Before high school I used to be really active. I did Tae Kwon Do, played soccer, etc. but it all stopped for five years in high school, which I now regret.

CB > BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. 04/01/2015 at 19:28

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Slow and steady is how it goes, unfortunately (80s montages lied to us). But hey, working for it makes it satisfying when you reach a milestone, eh?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CB 04/01/2015 at 19:32

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I can walk forever. My lung capacity, though? Agony and collapse after a half mile run. Can't breathe. I have some plans to work on that, but mostly haven't been following them.

f86sabre > CB 04/01/2015 at 19:37

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we had the Oppo Fitness Challenge last summer, but that kind of petered out. Mostly my fault due to work.

We are doing Fit Trip at work. Kind of a big fitness challenge. I've stepped up my workout significantly. I was locked in a conference room for the first half of last year. There was catering. You can guess how that ended. Now I'm try to burn off that 20 lbs.

One goal I set for myself this year was to never miss a Monday at the gym if it was a work day. I've maintained that thus far. If you can get to the gym on Monday morning everything else is easy.

CB > f86sabre 04/01/2015 at 19:43

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Oddly enough, we work out Monday mornings.

Do you think the Oppo Fitness Challenge will be back?

CB > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 04/01/2015 at 19:44

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Just dedicate a time to going to work out. Or find a maniacal friend who you can go with and threaten each other if the other doesn't show up. I find that works well.

f86sabre > CB 04/01/2015 at 19:45

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yeah, we can do it again. I may need some help keeping it up. I ended up having to go to Asia for work for a couple of weeks and that messed it up last year. I also ran it too long. 6-8 weeks max.